by Sophia Huang
You’ve probably noticed the zombie debt apocalypse happening around us. Old debts that were supposed to be dead and buried are bursting out of the grave to chase after consumers. The Consumer Financial Protection (CFPB) could stop it; instead it’s proposing regulations that would give zombie debts the green light to keep attacking consumers. If the proposal goes through, zombie debt won’t be the only monster the CFPB unleashes on us. Our only chance at stopping the onslaught is to submit comments demanding better protections. Here’s what you should be watching out for:
Zombie debts
These guys have been dead for years. Because it’s been so long since you’ve seen them, you probably don’t know much about them anymore and neither do the collectors who sic them on you. Are they going after you for the right amount? Are you even the person they’re looking for? Too much time has passed and no one knows for sure.
Be careful not to feed them even the smallest payment. Once they get a taste, they might come back to life for real.
Phone poltergeists
Do debt collectors keep calling you? Do they keep calling after you demand they stop? Do the calls continue even after you tell them they have the wrong person? If you answered ‘yes’ to one or more of these question, then you’ve probably got a phone poltergeist on your hands. These noisy troublemakers are out to annoy and harass you into paying. And if they don’t know where you are, they’re off to terrorize your friends and family to try and find you.
Thanks to the CFPB’s proposal, phone poltergeists will be allowed to go on tormenting you and everyone you know with seven calls per week per debt. Some will grow even more powerful and begin bombarding you with unwanted text messages as well.
Hyperlink sirens
The hyperlink siren is one of the most elusive but most dangerous of the debt collection beasts. They appear only in the uncharted waters of texts and emails, beckoning unsuspecting consumers to click on them. Their alluring appearance promises wonderful things like “important disclosures about your rights” and “information verifying a debt,” to all those who open them.
Don’t be fooled. Beneath the hyperlink siren’s innocent exterior may lie phishing attempts, malware, and any other number of scams.
Giving in to a hyperlink siren could spell financial doom for many of us, yet the CFPB is proposing we trust them.
Killer robot attorneys
More robot than attorney, these cold-hearted automatons are out to sue you and collect your debts by any means necessary. Their machine-like logic has decided that its easier and more efficient for them to just file as many lawsuits as possible without stopping to consider trivial human matters like “reviewing documentation” and “filing suit against the right person.” After all, their goal is to collect as much money as possible, not to avoid abusing the courts and consumers.
The CFPB doesn’t seem to think there’s anything wrong with what the killer robot attorneys are doing. They don’t seem to mind that the robot attorneys don’t review original account information. Its proposal would let them off the hook for breaking the law and deceiving consumers.
(No) privacy banshees
Were you hoping to keep your finances private? Not in CFPB’s imagined world where collectors can leave ominous messages about “accounts” with your family and friends. The (no) privacy banshee loves nothing more than to shriek about your debts. If the CFPB’s proposal goes through, her cries could be heard by anyone who answers the phone and can easily put two and two together.
Join us in urging the CFPB to protect us before the debt collection horror show overwhelms us all. Submit your comment and sign the petition by September 18th.
